Healthzia – Everyone must have felt feelings of shyness, whether it’s because of other people or because of yourself. What to do when you are experiencing it? Here’s the explanation.
Shyness is a feeling of fear or discomfort caused by other people, especially in new situations or among strangers. This is the uncomfortable feeling of self-awareness – the fear of what some people believe.
This fear can hinder a person’s ability to do or say what he wants. It can also prevent the formation of healthy relationships.
Shyness is often associated with low self-esteem. It can also be a cause of social anxiety.
What is the definition of feelings of shyness itself?
There are three types of shame we may feel. The first is the shame of having done something wrong morally or socially. For example, falling in public or in the wrong costume.
Meanwhile, the second shame can arise when you do something that is considered to violate moral, ethical, or social norms.
Suppose you find out that your coworker is embezzling company money, but you don’t do anything to stop it.
The third shame is actually more about wanting to blend in like the people around him, but he can’t because he’s different.
An example is a cancer patient whose hair loss due to chemotherapy. He may feel shy at school because he looks different from his peers.
Feelings of shyness can also be marked physically, including blushing, wide-eyed shame. This feeling can also lead to the desire to hide, disappear, or worse, even commit suicide.
How can I easily overcome the feelings of shyness?
Actually, shame is useful to prevent someone from doing things that deviate from social norms and values.
However, continuing to sink into shame won’t help you move on.
Therefore, you need to make peace with the shame. Even though it’s not easy, you can take the following five steps.
1. Notice what brings shame to come
First, try to evaluate and write down anything that makes you feel embarrassed.
This may be difficult at first, because it cannot be denied that you are also embarrassed to remember and tell yourself.
Understand deeply why you feel embarrassed, can shame be removed, what can make you less embarrassed, and how to anticipate yourself so as not to become more embarrassed.
Once you know what you are embarrassed about, you can begin to learn about the triggers and deal with your anxiety.
2. Change your way of thinking
Sometimes, negative thoughts can be toxic to the shame you already have.
By constantly thinking negatively such as, “What will people say about me later?” or, “What if I’m labeled a shame for the rest of my life?” You can drown yourself in negative thoughts.
This thought will not make you better off. What is there is even more embarrassed and worse.
Your job is to cultivate shyness by challenging your own thinking.
For example, you are embarrassed because you have to repeat a lot of courses in the next semester. Instead of feeling embarrassed and discouraged from learning, challenge yourself.
For example, by saying, “I do have to repeat several courses, but this semester I will be more enthusiastic and diligent. After all, not repeating a course is not a guaranteed guarantee to graduate quickly and succeed. “
3. Accept yourself, if you feel shame
No one wants to feel embarrassed or humiliated.
However, when that happens, you can’t just erase it from memory.
The first thing you have to do is accept that you feel shame.
You shouldn’t deny it and think of yourself as just fine.
You have to accept the shame in order to fight it. By acknowledging your feelings, you can also become a confident and positive person again.
This self-acceptance is more important than having to continually cover up the shame you have.
4. Stay away from people who bring your shame back
It can be annoying when there are still people who keep reminding you about the embarrassing thing that happened.
If there are still people like that, or are being brought up on purpose to make you even more embarrassed, it’s a good idea to avoid the “poisonous” person.
You have the right to choose who will be around you and who will not.
Surround yourself with people who support, understand, and love you.
5. Forgive yourself
Letting go of the thing, person, or event that you are embarrassed about is a sure way to reconcile yourself from feeling shame.
As mentioned above, everyone has mistakes and feels ashamed.
Then, why do you become a person who falls into shame?
One or two embarrassing incidents or two will not be a life sentence against your identity and your life.
So, it’s better to get up, forgive the mistakes you’ve ever done, and now focus on improving yourself.
Change our lifestyle from being negative to people who always have positive thoughts, so that various physical and spiritual ailments do not easily attack us.
As well as do regular exercise every day and consume foods that contain lots of vitamins such as fresh fruits and vegetables.